Why, Thank You and Why Thank You

I hate people. Not you, of course. I like you. Just everyone else.

On the local talk radio, the topic of the day was rude people. A fired-up caller (oddly not a “long time listener/first time caller” which I thought everybody had to say on talk radio) had two stories to share. One was a general observation that people don’t say thank you anymore when you open the door for them. The second was a long winded story about how he found a wallet at a hotel, took it to the front desk, got the wallet owner’s room number, went to the room to return it and the man grabbed the wallet and shut the door without saying anything.

This is why I hate people. People should never do anything nice in life expecting to be rewarded for it. I think hard work should be rewarded. I think innovation should be rewarded. But don’t expect to get your ego massaged just because you think you are doing something nice.

Do the right thing because it is the right thing.

The caller on the radio was obviously a turd. Opening doors and expecting thanks is one thing. Going out of your way to try and weasel thanks/ a reward is ever turdier. I’m not sure why the hotel would have given the caller the wallet owner’s room number. That has got to be against some policy. What I didn’t mention was that the caller had gone through the wallet (I would have too), and was bitching because there was a lot of money in it and he wasn’t offered a reward.

You know this caller is a douche. A good person (you or me) would have dropped the wallet off at the front desk and went on their way. This guy was fishing for a thanks or a couple bucks as a reward. He should have cut out the middle man and taken the money, which I’m sure is what actually happened and the guy made the rest of the story up. No hotel would give out a room number to a total stranger.

I see these types at the four-way stop. The ones that smile and try to wave you through, when they should have gone first. I just sit there and stare right at them. They wave, franticly trying to be nicer. And I stare. Then they throw up their arms in disgust and tear through the intersection, pissed off. I love it.

Now, before you start sounding off the hypocrite alarm, I have in the past stressed that people MUST say thanks and send thank you notes. This is still true. If someone opens the door for you, say “Thanks!” If someone finds your wallet, explain that that is all the money you have in the world and that you cannot give a reward, but if there is anything you can do, you will. It is customary and polite.

But don’t ever give into these “Thank You” whores who force you into a Thank You situation. The nice guy that opens the door when you are 50 feet away. The nice guy at the four way stop. The nice guy that explains to everyone that he is doing something nice. Just use this secret code as you pass by them, “Why thank you”. No comma. You can add the question mark in your inflection when you get really good at it.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Whoa! Taking a component out of your sac has turned you feisty. This gets the jonny stamp of approval. Big ups from Lenexa.

Anonymous said...

I'm not your personal door man, if I hold the door open for you, do one of two things: (1) Say Thank you. (2) Tell me "You don't have to hold that open for me" in which case I'll let it slam in your face.

Totally agree on the wallet. Take the money, drop the wallet at the front desk. If you have morals, drop the whole thing at the front desk. No way a hotel gave out a room number.

By the way, I hate people too. Green means Go! It's called a gas pedal....it's the thin vertical one on the right!

Anonymous said...

At least you like ME!!!
I am sooo Relieved!!!
R.

Anonymous said...

I like to hold the door open for people that are 50 feet away so that I can see who's so wired to societal conformity that they RUN to accept the small favor.

DogsDontPurr said...

In theory, hotels are not supposed to give out room numbers, but in practice, your mileage may vary. They are often known for even giving out keys to rooms without checking to see that YOU are the person who is actually supposed to be in that room. I think 60 Minutes did a story on this once. But I know from experience. There have been a few times when I lost the key or left it in the room. I go up to the front desk and tell them I lost the key to room whatever, and they just hand me a new key. They don't ask for my name or anything.

I've also checked in and walked into my room....and someone else is already in there....and vise versa.

Anywayyyy. I do totally agree with your conclusion that people suck!!! Except you.

sedgehurst said...

Man walks up behind me at DFW airport, taps me on the shoulder, shows me a piece of paper and says "Do you want to miss your flight?"

Because I'm not his grandchild or a woman, I'm not catching the drift of his behavior. So I answer the question as it was posed to me. "No, I don't want to miss my flight." (Are you threatening me?)

Awkward exchange where he explains now that I seem to have dropped my ticket and he now has it. I guess the conversation didn't go the way he wanted it, ending with "THANKS GRANDPA! THAT WAS CLOSE! THAT ALMOST COST ME 30 SECONDS OF REPRINT TIME!"

TBone said...

We've become a society of rude. Just say thank you for Pete's sake and, if someone is fishing for a thank you than maybe they really'd like one.

Doug said...

Thank you for sharing, T-Bone.