I read an article on the 13 Things Your Pizza Guy Won't Tell You. They were pretty much bullshit. Here's a list of the REAL 13 things the pizza guy wont tell you:
1. The sauce really stings the open sore on his finger.
2. The cheese that misses the pizza and lands all over the place will make it back on top a pizza at some point in the night.
3. Pizza ain’t all he’s delivering.
4. The soap is still out in the employee bathroom.
5. If you do not tip him well, your next delivered three topping pizza will have four toppings.
6. He does wish you would come to the door topless.
7. The delivery guy is not en route and you are going to get the next thing that pops out of the oven.
8. It is hard to wipe a runny nose with the plastic gloves on, but he'll keep trying!
9. 30 minutes or less is a suggestion and not a goal
10. Long, scraggly hair is in. Hair nets are out.
11. Its hard to catch the flying disc of dough, but luckily the floor has enough flour on it to keep most of it from sticking.
12. Pizza guy is always very happy and he always seems to have red, bloodshot eyes.
13. You won’t believe some of the shit that will fit in the dough presser machine.
3 comments:
No no no no no!!!! I did not just read this!!!! I can't hear you!!! La la la la la la.......
Eeek Ackkk Arghhh Ooookkk!!!!!
i worked at pizza hut for 4 yrs and i am incredibly surprised how fucking true all of this is. I've never seen a "12 things they wont tell u" article hit the nail on the head. Btw i participated in the aforementioned activities often and so did everyone i worked with.
Yes, much of this is very famililar...I worked for Dominos for a summer and had a bunch of friends work for PH. There was one customer who was always a real jerk - 'keep the penny' kind o' guy. So one of my friends farted on his fresh pizza and promptly delivered it with a smile.
Post a Comment