I do not want to debate whether or not Governor Palin is going to drop off McCain’s ticket as Vice President… that is pretty much a given. As a matter of fact, I think McCain’s consultants preparing for it and are going to try to spin it for more media cycles.
But who will McCain pick next? He's got to out do himself again. Let’s look at the possibilities:
1. Hillary Clinton
-18 Million votes guaranteed!
-she will unleash pent up vitriolic rage against Obama
-raving lunatic PUMAs and Clintonistas will simultaneously explode causing big mess
-might end up President if McCain dies
-Christian Conservatives would get caught in an infinite prayer feedback loop of praying to win and praying to lose.
2. Heath Ledger
-won’t say anything stupid
-even dead, can’t make McCain look younger or better
-Christian Conservatives don’t like guys that have sex with guys, even if it was just in a movie
3. Inanimate Carbon Rod
-Older than McCain thus making him look younger
-Inanimate, which means it can’t fuck up
-TV star (young kids love it)
-easy to vet
-Rod is a gay name
-Christian Conservatives don’t like the periodic table
4. Hillary Clinton’s Pantsuit
-If you can’t get Hillary, it’s the next best thing
-won’t cry or eat your soul
-wash and wear
-Remnants of Bill on the back
-Christian Conservatives don’t like female pants. It’s the devil’s stitchery.
5. The Statue of Liberty
-100% American (Although the French thing will come out later in the media.)
-Older than McCain but still slightly hot
-Good with dates, reads books, likes foreigners, knows her place and has a huge ass torch
Christian Conservatives don’t like unmarried women with careers