Schnuckelputz: Putting “ass” in the glass

We were in Athens, OH this past weekend for an Ohio University reunion of friends. In all, about eighteen of us made our way back to OU to reminisce and drink and reminisce about drinking. I hadn’t seen some folks for over fourteen years. It was a very good time.

For dinner, Miss Sally, Russ, Cheri and I went to Casa Nueva. Casa is a highly regarded Mexican restaurant that utilizes local farmers and producers. The food is awesome. We ordered dinner, drank Mexican beer and discussed our plans for the rest of the evening. Next to our table was a flyer for Schnuckelputz, a wine from Shade Winery.

Per the advert, I could see that the Schnuckelputz was:

I’m aware of carbonation.
I’ve had ginger. It’s the light, refreshing stuff that sits next to your sushi.
Lemon, check.
Wine and I have had a relationship for years.

So I ordered a glass.

What I did not know at the time was the origins of the word Schnuckelputz:
Schnuckel (German) - drip from the ass or wet from the backside
Putz (Yiddish) – fool, idiot

The foul, rancidness contained within that glass cannot be described. I had Russ try a sip and he gagged and made a horrible face. I was not quick enough to catch it on camera so later I had him sniff the glass to relive the experience.

I assume that on its way to the restaurant, the bottle of Schnuckelputz was accidentally filled with a combination of urine and battery acid. The bottle was then smuggled across the border of Mexico in a Crohn's Disease sufferer’s lower intestine, where it was set out in the sun for three weeks. Upon its return via a railcar filled with diarrhea, it was rinsed, chilled, lightly shaken and poured into my glass.

And to spite everyone, I drank the whole thing. For the rest of the night, I couldn’t stop burping up ginger.

We saved six people’s lives on our way out of the restaurant who were discussing, fortunately out loud, if they should order a glass of abomination.

And just so you are aware, my poop smelled like ginger for the next two days.

To sum up:

Schnuckelputz = Ask, instead, for the interactive, taste colonoscopy

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