Seven things you can do to help your relationship

Here are seven tips to help keep your relationship happy and healthy.

Write it down
If you have something to say, say it on paper. Write down your feelings and issues. Sort them out, get rid of the anger and construct a valid statement. Then sit them down at the kitchen table and say it. DO NOT GIVE YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER A NOTE – unless you are dumping them, then you can leave a note.

Don’t internet cheat
If you are having an affair on line, you are in a very, very, deep, darkish dark grey area. Internet relationships are just practice for cheating in real life. Thought I think the only place that men and women can actually be friends is on the internet, if you start thinking that a relationship via the internet is harmless, you are mistaken. Some internet forums are a great place to seek advice and to anonymously get issues off your chest. But when you start innocently flirting and it progresses, your real relationship will suffer. It will suffer even more when your spouse uses your AIM logs and e-mails in court.

Do stuff together– on a schedule
I hate to say this, but “date night” works. When my buddies say they can’t go out drinking because they have date night, I can’t help but roll my eyes and start throwing out the manly insults. Of course, when it’s my date night and my buddies call and start to chide me, I tell them they are insensitive and do not understand how a good relationship works.

Sex is also great on a schedule. You and your spouse should work out one day a week that you decide to have sex. Of course, Miss Sally will get into bed and I will say, “It’s Have Sex Tuesday!” And Miss Sally will say, “But wasn’t last night Have Sex Monday?” That’s when I reach under the bed and pull out the calendar marked “Tuesday” that has all the Tuesdays marked with a red circle. Just don’t let your significant other look under the bed and see the other six calendars.

Say it on a daily basis
“You are pretty.”
“I like that shirt on you.”
“You look great.”
“I miss you.”
“Have a good day.”
“You smell great.”
“That was a nice dinner.”
“Kiss me.”
“I love you.”

Get away. But not too far away
I am a big fan of guys night out. I am also a fan of wife night out. It’s good for both individuals in the relationship to have other friends and other hobbies that can get them away for a few hours. Just make sure that you balance that time with your own time together. Miss Sally bought me an anniversary card that read, “My husband and I go out two nights a week. He goes out on Thursdays and I go out on Saturdays.” Sadly, I need to take my own advice on this one.

If you do get involved in a hobby, ensure that it does not take up all your time or involve Team Fortress 2 or World of Warcraft. Those are relationship killers.

This one is the hardest of all for me, but it’s probably the smartest of all the suggestions listed here. Exercise keeps you healthy. Makes you better in the sack. Keeps off the pounds. Make you look good. Keeps you alive for longer so that you can spend more time with the ones you love. It makes you feel good.

I, of course, do not exercise because I fear that if I get any better looking, it will actually threaten my marriage with all the chicks noticing me. For the sanctity of my marriage, I’ll hold off from working out. I will make this sacrifice for love.

I can guarantee that if you make time for massage, you will get laid. If you don’t know how to massage, buy a book. It is a very intimate and a relationship building opportunity. And did I mention you can guarantee sex? Because you will definitely get some action. And if the guys are not into getting a massage, I would highly suggest the B for B or Rub and Tug. That’s where the man gives the woman a back rub and the woman gives the guy a back rub except that you replace the phrase “woman gives a backrub” with “woman gives a blowjob.”

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