Doug, white, looks inside old bible

A few years ago, Miss Sally received an old, leather bound bible after her grandmother passed away. The movie prop kind with gold lettering and yellowed pages. It contained not only the word of God, but several articles, photos, hand written prayers and even a pressed flower. Nothing was labeled, which is heartbreaking because you know that these items had significance, but they are now almost worthless.

But I am not here to shit in your coffee. I'm here to tell you the fun stuff.

It seems that Miss Sally's grandmother found an article in the newspaper interesting enough to cut out and place in the bible. The aged newsprint relates how Christmas only falls on a Sunday about once every 11 years. Nice. Those were the good old days. (click to enlarge)

But flip the article over and the fun begins. Here it is: (click to enlarge)

Wow! There was actually a sense of humor back in ye olden days.

When I first read the article, I was struck how the word "colored" was used. Obviously it was to state that the person mentioned was black, but even though the article doesn't have any whities in it, you know they aren't going to write, "Then along came Jonas Brown, white, and the real fun started."

I did not realize when I first read the article that it was satire. Real events, I'm sure, but written to make a simple stabbing fill a full column and to poke a little fun at all involved. Luckily today, our professional journalists do not make up parts of the news to sensationalize or create a more interesting story.

The article is cut off at the end and we do not know if poor Alonzo Moore, colored, survived the stabbing. I can only hope that the Brown Collection Agency is still a thriving business and helping whities, yellows, redskins and them sand people to reclaim owed monies.

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